Late last year, I was invited to attend the West Middle School Book Fest in Brentwood, NY, as a guest author. Held yesterday on Valentine’s Day (or P.S. I Love You Day, depending on who you talk to), the Book Fest is an annual event where authors, librarians, and other literati (am I using that word correctly?) gather to teach the kids a lil’ something about reading and writing—hopefully while having fun. The first thing I saw when I walked into the school was a large poster of my ugly mug and the covers of my first two books promoting my attendance at the event (see the pic above). I was honestly shocked and humbled. As I walked down the hallway to the gymnasium where the event was taking place, I was floating on cloud nine…until two kids walked by, and one of them said to the other, “Hey, there’s that bald guy from the poster.” As Charlie Brown emoted: Sigh. Even after 35 years, I’m still getting bullied in the halls of junior high.
As I entered the gymnasium, I saw they had gift baskets filled with my two books and other goodies that would be raffled off later. I set up my table next to the raffle area and waited for the influx of children. Last year, I was told by the event’s organizer to design a literary activity to do with the kids at my station. I was racking my brain trying to come up with something, and I finally settled on listing the steps of how to write a novel (based on an old blog on this here website) out of order and asking the kids to put them in the correct order. I even marked the first step for them. This ended up being a waste of time, as hardly any kids wanted to do the activity.
My favorite moment was when I was meticulously going over all the steps of how to write a book with someone while pointing to my sheet, and the entire time, the boy was nodding his head, saying, “Yeah, yeah, uh-huh,” etc. When I finished my speech, I said, “Okay, now you can try listing the steps in order, and if you need any help, just let me know, or you can do it at home.” The kid looked up, nodded again, said “Great,” and then walked away, leaving the activity sheet on the table. It’s like, at least humor me and pretend you’re going to complete my meticulously created literary activity at home. This is why I didn’t become a teacher, folks. On the bright side, there was one boy who seemed to get it. He only needed some gentle goading, and he was able to list the steps in perfect order. It was a proud, if brief, moment.
The students attending the event were asked by their teachers to do a “scavenger hunt” where they walk from booth to booth and ask questions, such as, “Who’s one of your favorite authors?” or “What’s your favorite book?” I would say “Stephen King” in answer to the first question, and I can’t tell you how many kids replied, “Stephen who?” I understand that these junior high kids haven’t read any of his books, but about 60% of movies and T.V. shows in the past several decades have been based on his work. The name should’ve struck a bell. Also, in response to the second question, not a single student had ever heard of The Catcher in the Rye (“The Catcher and the what?”), though in their defense, that’s more of a high school book than junior high.
I have to say, this event became challenging and downright hilarious at times (of the unintentional variety). There were some kids who wanted me to write the answers down for them on their question-and-answer sheet. Then there was the girl who asked me, “Is being an author your dream job, and if so, why?” When I started answering, “Well, I’ve always wanted to be a writer,” she snapped, “But WHY?!” I guess she really wanted to make sure her questionnaire was filled out with all the deets.
Towards the end of the event, someone accidentally knocked the sign of my headshot and book covers onto the floor and cracked it. For those with photographic memories, I wrote about something similar happening to me in an earlier blog post. I dropped and broke this same sign directly before a book-signing event last year and had to scramble to Michael’s to buy another one. Now the new one is broken. It’s off to Michael’s again!
Reading back this blog, it sounds like I’m dumping on the event, but I actually enjoyed myself. I’m always delighted to hear what people think of my books, even if they’ve never heard of them before and only get the gist by reading the back covers. Also, there were at least a handful of kids who seemed interested in what I was saying. I could tell they were really paying attention to my answers, not just going through the motions. I suspect they’re also this attentive in class. These kids, I predict, will go far. Other highlights of the event: I pitched my books to the Brentwood Public Library, my station neighbor was a cool teacher/author who kept good company, and the Jersey Mike’s sub for lunch was delicious.
Now, having reported all this, would I return to Book Fest? Uhhh…ask me again next year. 😊
MTP
P.S.: Next blog: I Made My Television Debut on The Donna Drake Show
P.P.S.: The Electric God and Other Shorts is now available on Amazon and Barnes & Noble:
Michael Thomas Perone 